What do I really want?

Sunday July 25th is the Feast of St James, the Apostle some suggested readings are Jeremiah 45; Acts 11:27-12:3 ; 2 Corinthians 4:7-15 ; Psalm 126 ; and Matthew 20:20-28

The map alongside is the famous pilgrimage journey to Compostela in NW Spain (El Camino de Santiago) where traditionally pilgrims have gone to venerate St James at the great cathedral shrine. Traditionally pilgrims journey for weeks or months from Southern France.

Tarted up
I always find Matthew’s version of the story we read in the Gospel today a little amusing
it has James and John’s mother
asking Jesus
to grant her sons the privilege
of being his chief lieutenants when everything starts to happen

In Mark’s more direct version (probably therefore the earlier, less politically corrected and hence more likely to be accurate) it is the boys themselves that ask Jesus.
Is Matthew trying, as some commentators suggest (eg John Drane), to make the apostles look good by making their mother (rather than them) seemingly crassly ambitious on their behalf.
There is a sort of childish naïveté about the exchange
which makes us suspect that this theory is correct!
Jesus asks them:
what do you want?
It’s probably significant to note that he does not ask ‘what do you need?’ or even ‘what can I do for you?’
The naïf story is a question about what motivates them
What do you WANT?
It is not always nice

and we do not always like to admit
that we would like to be the boss
or that we are seeking our own advantage
or that we are bit selfish
(which is why Matthew is trying to make the apostles look good by blaming their mother)
But God is responding to us where we are
and though we might like to look good in the eyes
of others
or not look as bad as we really are…is perhaps another way of putting it
God responds to us where we are
and as we are
not to some game we might play.

Advice therefore
So some advice therefore is to be authentic.
In reality God knows all about us
so there is no point playing games.
If you feel angry then pay attention to that,
if you are sad or excited
then that is what God is going to be dealing with

Jesus is able to warn James and John
what we all know to be inherently true
that there is no privilege
without responsibility
and that there is no responsibility
without personal cost.
he himself demonstrates this in his own life
they will be required to demonstrate it
if they really want to go this way.

This is important stuff
So it is necessary to be keenly insightful
about our real wants
(as opposed to our politically correct needs,
or what we might blame our mother for)



What do you really want from God?
Can you this week try to tease that question out?
To be a little bit more honest and open
and therefore to maximize the chance
that we might hear what Jesus might be actually speaking into our lives

How do you feel God has treated you so far?
Does this encourage you, disappoint you?
What do you want God to be for you?

The message, we can hear on this St James Day
is that we are “earthen jars” not stunning jewellery.
We, by and large, are dull and flat,
lifeless and characterless.
Yet…we are not without promise and potential
For we are filled with treasure.
But the treasure is not what we imagine
it is how Jesus meets us,
so it is not about unreality
or political correctness
or what our parents might want for us.

This week
What do I want from Jesus?
What is he asking me to be and do?
Can I…will I do it and be it?

Saint James, pray for us
that we may be willing
to leave everything to follow Jesus
as you did.
Help us to be the true friend of Jesus